


You have been followed

by DisasterSoundtrack



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Fueled by Ramen, The Academy Is...
Genre: Angst, M/M, gabilliam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisasterSoundtrack/pseuds/DisasterSoundtrack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill's mouth tastes like chlorine and bubblemint chewing gum.<br/>Some memories are brighter than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You have been followed

**Author's Note:**

> This mentions some events from Trade Baby Blues for Wide-Eyed Browns (http://archiveofourown.org/works/2319875), but works equally well as a stand-alone story.  
> The flashbacks are in italics.

**(present)**

Bill's house is staring at me from the end of the street. It's a nice house; nothing extraordinary. It's not as big as the one he shared with his wife (ex-wife, I'm telling myself), but still, it seems like a comfortable enough place. The lights are on.  
  
Bill's house is getting closer and closer. It might be the fact that I've decided to actually walk there from the nearest train station, but my heart is beating very fast. But it's not like I'm going to die, no, not today.  
  
Today I'm going to live.  
  
Thankfully, there's no camera on his entry phone. So I just call and my hands shake a little when he answers.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"A package for Mr. William Beckett", I mumble through my jacket sleeve to disguise my voice. He opens up.  
  
He's standing at the door. Still thin as a stick, his jeans tight, sweater oversized, hair a little shorter and tamer than I remember.  
  
He knows, he knows I'm no fucking delivery guy.  
  
"Where's my package, Gabe?"  
  
"I'm right here, sunshine." Somehow I manage a non-shaky voice and it makes me proud of myself. I'm standing in front of William and I know I'm gonna tell him everything.  
  
"Damn right you are." He gestures into the house, so I step in and wait for him to lock the door. With hands in his pockets, he turns to stare at me.  
  
"I've waited years for you, Gabey, years. And of all the nights you could have chosen, you show up tonight."  
  
"What's wrong with tonight?"  
  
"I just bought myself a ticket to New York, asshole."  
  
How inappropriate it would be for me to start screaming from excitement in my former almost-maybe-not-really boyfriend's house? At least a little, but I've never been much of an appropriate type of guy.  
  
Somehow, I manage not to do it. I caress William's face instead, watch him lean into my touch like he's learning me and _us_ all over again.  
  
I'll make sure he's learned everything there is by the end of the night.  
  
"Look, Billvy," I whisper, watching him smile the tiniest of smiles being called this name again, "do we need to have a conversation before I take you upstairs to sleep with you, or can we postpone the talking, darling?"  
  
"Always such a charmer," cuts William, opening his eyes wide, and drags me by the wrist right upstairs to his bedroom.

 

**_(past)_ **

_It's Pete's house in LA, the one he sold almost as fast as he bought it and William is sitting on the edge of a pool with his legs in the water. The sun is cruel and he's not wearing any sunblock. Gabe wants to tell him. But Gabe also wants to watch Bill's hair color fade and his back get red forever and forever, from a safe distance._  
  
_"Hey. Where's everybody?"  
_  
_William turns to look at Gabe while the other man is joining him at the poolside, throwing off his flip-flops.  
_  
_"They've all fucked off somewhere. Pete is having one of his moods."  
_  
_Yeah, Gabe noticed. Nobody really wants to be around for Pete's moods, especially since Ashlee is in the picture. Everybody kind of expects her to deal with Pete, but not everybody knows she is not in the power of influencing Wentz that much. The truth is, most of Pete's moods are caused by Patrick. Patrick Stump is the ruiner sometimes, Patrick Stump is the fixer very often, Patrick Stump is the sun Pete Wentz revolves around.  
_  
_"Funny someone so short would have so much power over Pete."  
_  
_William knows Gabe is not talking about Ashlee, so he laughs and says, "Yeah."  
_  
_Bill stares at the sparkling water of the pool like it holds some secrets he desperately wants to know. Gabe takes his pants off carefully and jumps into the pool in his boxer shorts and a shirt, splashing William in the process.  
_  
_"Come on, kid, the water's warm!"  
_  
_"I know, I was just waiting for you."  
_  
_William jumps in, gets his hair all wet and throws himself at Gabe, trying to drag his friend under the water. Gabe resists for a while, but then they wrestle, dive and chase each other around the pool, shouting like kids and giggling like girls. Gabe ends up with his back flush against the pool tiles, William pressed close to him, his hands everywhere, mouth tasting like chlorine and bubblemint chewing gum.  
_  
_Some memories are brighter than others.  
_  
_Gabe loses himself in it, loses himself in the feel of William like he always does, not regretting anything, not even thinking much about it at this point, when Joe's voice snaps him out, snaps both of them out._  
  
_"Come on, you guys are at it again? There's food inside."_

 

**(present)  
**

I remembered everything correctly. William Beckett is ace in the sack, I think it wouldn't be too much to say he got better since our last time.  
  
"Come on, Gabey, maybe you're blinded by the magic of reunion."  
  
"I'm blinded by you, Billvy, and by you only. Like I always have."  
  
"You're so melodramatic."  
  
William can say anything he wants, anything, as long as he kisses me like that afterwards. And he kisses me as if he's marking me. I want him to mark me. I am his, I am not going anywhere.  
  
"But this is how you like me, baby."  
  
"I guess." William is finally showing teeth in a smile, his perfect, cute, shy smile.  
  
How he still manages to seem shy to me after all the dirty things we just did is beyond me.  
  
"I'm gonna have to break up with Joshua, damn it," he says, though he doesn't seem very concerned. More so, he sounds like he has to do some laundry, but is too lazy.  
  
"Who the hell is Joshua?"  
  
"A boyfriend? A bootycall? Someone in between, I'm not sure."  
  
"Is he any cute?" I make silly, seductive faces at frowning William. "Is he cute like me? Is he _cuter_? Answer me, William Eugene Beckett."  
  
William bursts out laughing and I'm not sure what caused this reaction. Maybe it was my blue steel face, maybe the mention of his middle name.  
  
"There's no one cuter than you, silly ass."  
  
"I'm gonna have some breaking up to do as well."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Erin. She's very pretty."  
  
Erin is not only pretty. She's extremely tallented and warm and understanding, she is the whole package, except she's not the one I love.  
  
"All beauty fades compared to you, Bill."  
  
"Oh shut up," he says, dragging me under the covers again.

 

 ******_(past)_**

 _The thing is, everybody thinks they are just messing around. The times are crazy, they are all drunk on being rockstars (all of them except Fall Out Boy maybe, those guys are way too level – headed for their age) and the life that comes with it. They turn from this weird assemble of dorky friends into an unstoppable party machine. Most of them are sleeping around a lot, and Gabe gets his fair share of lanky Latinas and sexy muscled boys. Even though he can't complain, he finds himself dragged back into the slender arms of William Beckett over and over again. They make out whenever they can and once, during a backstage party, Gabe just can't keep his hands off TAI singer.  
_  
_"When this is over, let's go to my place," Gabe whispers right into Bill's ear.  
_  
_"For like an afterparty?"  
_  
_"An afterparty for just you and me, Bill."  
_  
_William's chocolate eyes pierce Gabe's.  
_  
_"Oh."  
_  
_"How's it gonna be then?"  
_  
_"Okay. We can go now if you want to."  
_  
_If he wants to? Gabe calls the cab and they are at his place in 15 minutes, God bless New York and its cabs.  
_  
_William used to say Gabe's tongue was more than eleven secret spices. As Gabe is licking his way down Bill's chest in an elevator, he is making sure William remembers. He can't possibly know how long this is going to last, but he wants to be remembered. He wants this skinny, velvet-haired tallented boy in scarves and v-necks to remember this brown-eyed Latino devil, twisted in more ways than one.  
  
He was addicted to William. He wanted to be William's antidote to everything.  
_  
_"You make me feel so alive, baby," he whispers against the hot skin of William's neck.  
_  
_"And likewise, Mr. Saporta."  
_  
_Gabe feels a surge of excitement just from hearing William's voice. He keeps pressing the younger man harder and harder against the button panel.  
_  
_"I'm gonna do so many things to you tonight you can't even imagine."  
_  
_The elevator chimes. Gabe's floor.  
_  
_William chuckles.  
_  
_"Finally. I've been looking forward to this since we've met."  
_  
_This statement, a blatant lie or not, gets into Gabe's bloodlines and makes him drag Bill to his apartment by the belt loops._

 

**(present)**

We are raiding Bill's fridge, because we both decided we deserve something to eat after all the physical activities of the last hour. Bill is wearing his pajama bottoms. I'm not wearing anything. This is not unusual.  
  
"Cover yourself with something, you're insulting me", mutters William, approaching me with a small, blue kitchen apron, and tying it with difficulty around my hips.  
  
"Now Billvy, this is definitely feminine size."  
  
"I have narrow hips," he shrugs, and walks away to put frozen pizza in the oven. "Or maybe you're just fat."  
  
"I'm gonna call her."  
  
Bill rests against his kitchen counter, regarding me with a serious face, like he's trying to accomodate me into his life, into the order of his late mornings at his favorite coffee place and afternoons spent writing music, into his kitchen, into his bed, into the life he reluctantly created for himself. If I could speak for him, I'd say he is pretty glad for the distraction I provide.  
  
"All right, do you want me to – ", he gestures in the general direction of upstairs, but I shake my head no. I'm already calling Erin's number. I never told her I was leaving, we were supposed to meet tonight.  
  
"Hello Gabe."  
  
"Erin, hi. Listen to me, I'm very sorry, I have to cancel tonight. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, you have no idea."  
  
"Hey, come on, it's not that big a deal. Something happened?"  
  
"Yeah, it's not... Well, I really hate to do this over the phone, but I want to be fair. I'm in LA now."  
  
"...what? Why?"  
  
"I'm with William."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I'm sorry, Erin. We'll talk when I come back, okay? I'm really sorry."  
  
"Stop saying that."  
  
She hangs up.  
  
William is by my side, holding me.  
  
"Am I really worth it?"  
  
I inhale the smell of his hair. He still makes me dizzy somehow.  
  
"You're worth everything."

 

**_(past)_ **

_It takes very little time for Gabe to find out that nobody does it like William does it. He says to himself,_ I can't be that infatuated in this dorky screamer, he must really have some freaking hidden talents.  
_And William is twisting underneath him, clinging to his forearms like he's Rose from _Titanic_ just about to drown, moaning and screaming of pleasure Gabe is sure none of his sexual partners ever showed before.  
_  
_Gabe thinks for a second William might be faking. But fakers are usually pretty passive, and Bill has shown a lot of initiative tonight.  
_  
_"You're out of this world," stutters Gabe, barely keeping himself from collapsing onto Bill's chest, but still trying to keep a tempo.  
_  
_William lets out a moan and then a silent chuckle.  
_  
_"No, you are. I'm just a slut, you know?"  
_  
_"Don't talk about yourself like that." Gabe would really wish William had higher self-esteem. Upon hearing these words, William grabs onto Gabe's back and presses his fingernails to skin so hard there are gonna be scratches.  
_  
_After the first time with William, nothing is the same for Gabe anymore. Nobody else feels as good and natural as this singing boy with a cute shy smile. Nobody else is like this insatiable devil in a perfect disguise.  
_  
_Gabe doesn't even realize how much changes that night._

 

**(present) ******

****We manage to go to sleep at 3 AM, Bill's head on my chest like I dreamed almost every night since he left, his legs wrapped around mine. The sheets are still a little damp and The City of Angels never really goes to sleep, so it's never dark enough.  
  
I wake up in a wide, blinding glow of midday to William moving impatiently by my side. He sits up as if something has scared him.  
  
"What, what's goin' on, Billvy?"  
  
"Oh, nothing." He sights with relief. "You know those dreams that are so nice you don't want to ever wake up?"  
  
"Yeah." William has been starring in a lot of them.  
  
"I thought I had one. So I woke up pretty freaked. But you're still here."  
  
"You can't say things like that to me, you know", I tell him, as I drag him closer to kiss everywhere I can reach. "You're gonna make me tell you how much I love you if you keep doing that."  
  
William looks at me with keen interest. He's in a playful mood, thank heavens for that.  
  
"How much do you love me then? Because I just told you I was afraid you were only a dream."  
  
I have to tell him. I have to tell him or I will explode in my own ridiculous way.  
  
"I just... There hasn't been a day I have been _not_ thinking about you ever since we met. I have been missing you so much I had to stay up at night to listen to your old songs. I – "  
  
"Okay," says Bill, and laughs like the sunshine, moving closer to kiss me on the mouth, steal my breath and another piece of my heart.

****

********_**(past)**_

 _Touring can be tiring, thinks Gabe, as he opens the door to this apartment, drops the bags and drenches himself in silence. He wants everything to stay as quiet as possible for as long as possible. He wants to sleep for years and maybe eat some cereal. This is a brilliant idea, cereal. He stumbles into the kitchen, knocking over a pile of unopened letters in the process. He makes himself a bowl of milky-chocolatey goodness and sits comfortably at the kitchen table. It's so quiet. He almost can't hear the roaring life outside, the buzzing outskirts of Manhattan seem very far away somehow. Gabe starts devouring the cereal, waiting for jetlag to kick in (they just came all the way from London, it's gotta hurt at some point), when his phone starts singing this ancient Remember Maine song.  
_  
_William's calling.  
_  
"Hola, _cupcake. How's things?"  
_  
_Will just whines, way too loud for Gabe's taste. "Gaaaaabe."  
_  
_"What's going on? Jetlag got you bad?"  
_  
_"Gaaabe. I'm just calling to say goodbye. I think I'm dying."  
_  
_William can be such a drama queen sometimes. It's so adorable. Gabe swallows another mouthful of cereal and asks Bill, "What are the symptoms?"  
_  
_"My head is fucking pounding. I think I have a fever, because I'm shaking, and I've been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours since I got here. Also I'm hungry all the time."  
_  
_Gabe tries to imagine how William looks like now – wrapped up in a blanket on a couch in front of his TV, hair an ungodly mess, munching on Doritos or something.  
_  
_"Are you watching the Food Network again?"  
_  
_"Yeah," whines Bill. "With the sound off. I can't stand the noise."  
_  
_"Same here."  
_  
_"Oh fuck."  
_  
_"What now, Billvy?"  
_  
_"I got nacho dressing all over my blanket, fuck."  
_  
_"You're so precious. Please, don't die."  
_  
_William laughs silently. The sound melts Gabe's heart a little.  
_  
_"I think I'm going to fall asleep now, Gabey. Do you know it's gonna be months before we see each other again?"  
_  
_"Chicago is not so far from New York, you know. You can always come over if you miss me too much." Gabe tries playful and fails, because he sounds almost needy.  
_  
_"I wanna do more stupid things with you. I wish we were back on tour again," says William quietly.  
_  
_"But this one almost killed you."  
_  
_"I'm really sleepy now, Gabe. I think I'm gonna – "  
_  
_"Okay. Call me when you wake up."  
_  
_"Be a good boy, Saporta."  
_  
_"You know I'm never a good boy."  
_  
_"Bye." Bill hangs up.  
_  
I miss you already, _is what Gabe wishes he had guts to say. He has no guts apparently._

****

******(present)** ** **

****William takes me to his favorite coffee place. It's 1 PM, so it's kind of too late and too early for coffee, but Bill says that's how he always does it. He keeps his days short.  
  
"Los Angeles is more tiring than you'd think, man. Everybody's wearing freaking flip flops."  
  
The coffee place is down Will's street, some no-name joint where baristas greet him with a wink and a wave. Looks like he comes here pretty often.  
  
"The usual, William?" asks a girl in thick hipster glasses and a ponytail. William nods his head and looks at me.  
  
"You'll have a latte with a shot of coconut syrup, right?"  
  
"Yeah, but I take no sugar now."  
  
"Making progress there, baby."  
  
We sit down with our coffees. The place is covered in pillows in all shades of beige and grey. William keeps on smiling at me.  
  
"How are things at FBR? You've got some hot gossip for me?"  
  
Oh, William and me were cruel back in the day. We went to great lenghts to know other people's secrets and we traded them along with cigarettes in dark backstage rooms.  
  
"Twenty One Pilots are really kicking off. They're great guys and tallented as hell."  
  
"Oh yeah, I've heard them. Cool stuff. Brain – twisting."  
  
Only William would come up with an adjective like that, which fit extremely well even though it was so damn strange.  
  
"Also Pete and Patrick hooked up."  
  
William puts down his coffee and covers his mouth. He looks thrilled.  
  
"What?! And Pete told you? Because I can't believe _Patrick_ would – I mean – "  
  
"No, they're like... they are oficially together. It's very fresh, but apparently something they've always felt. You wouldn't believe how _right it_ is."  
  
"Yeah, I can see it."  
  
Bill reaches out to hold my hand. I can't believe I've gone for years without this.  
  
"Come on, let's snapchat Pete. He's gonna freak."

 **From: Gabe Saporta**  
**To: Pete Wentz**

 _Chillin' in LA._  
(enclosed picture: Gabe, smiling in a coffee place, being kissed on the cheek by William.)

  
**From: Pete Wentz**  
**To: Gabe Saporta**

_Dude! Way to go, so freaking happy for both of u. Say hi to Bill  
  
_

"Pete's gonna think he's our matchmaker or something. It will go to his head."  
  
I laugh at Bill's suggestion only because it's so accurate, the early afternoon sun starts crawling into the room and I finally know how genuine happiness tastes like.

 

 ****_**(past)**_

 ****_Everybody knows or at least suspects they are sleeping together. But nobody knows this is something more. Even they don't know. They don't want to admit it.  
_  
_Gabe is struggling to go for a month before surprising William by appearing in Chicago to steal his time and attention.  
_  
_They are in bed in complete darkness, breathing hot and heavy, a little drunk and a little lightheaded, swimming in_ City Traffic Puzzle _by The Hush Sound.  
_  
_"This is terrible, Gabe. I hate this, I hate this completely, you know?"  
_  
_"You mean the song? You put it on."  
_  
_"No, not the song. This." William makes a vague gesture in then general direction of Gabe's naked body, not fully covered by the sheets, and himself, his porcelain chest standing out in the shades of the room.  
_  
_Bill's voice is shaking and it looks like tears in his eyes.  
_  
_"It's not fun anymore, Gabe. I am sitting on pins and needles every day because you're not here and I'm thinking about the things you are doing when I'm not with you. It's – you got me all fucked up on jealousy, I don't want to feel like that anymore."  
_  
_"William. William. Do you, like, do you want exclusivity? Because I can totally do that for you."  
_  
_"I just don't want to fucking_ wait _for you anymore. But this is never gonna work."  
_  
_"Why? I think it just might, Billvy, if we try."  
_  
_The night is very dark and cold. Everything feels surreal and suddenly Gabe has a flashback of William at the poolside, laughing and getting his hair wet, and misses the simpler times.  
_  
_"We will never make it work."  
_  
_William leaves to the bathroom, the kitchen or wherever. In his head, he's running for cover.  
_  
_When he comes back, Gabe is asleep.  
_  
_The morning comes in cold winds, as expected, and they don't ever come back to the conversation that happened at night. Maybe it didn't happen at all – Gabe finds solace in thinking it was only a dream._

****

******(present) ******** **

When William texts me, I'm about to leave for the studio.

_W: I can't believe you've only been here for 2 days and yet the place feels so empty without you._

I catch myself looking at this silly picture of the two of us I have tucked under the mirror frame by the door – we're laughing, holding mics, both young and reckless and in scarves, my hand is on Bill's stomach somehow, the other thrown around his neck, and he's holding me by the waist. William has this very photo framed, on the wall of his home studio, between the classiest shot of The Academy Is... and a classic shot of Pete's fish hook face.  
  
Somehow the picture of William and me is twice as big as the others.

_G: LA really lacks my dashing looks and bubbly personality._

Bill replies so fast I think he typed the message before he received mine.

_W: Some days I really hate LA. I wanna go back to Chicago._

_G: How about New York, Beckett?_

_W: Only if you promise you'll be there._

_W: I will be waiting for you with a bag of Doritos, a blanket and my hot body to warm you up, baby._

This is what I missed, too: William's stream of text messages about things that are wrong with the world and the things that are right and make him happy. Sometimes my phone would beep at 4 AM and Bill would write, _You're missing all the late – night goodness of Food Network.  
_  
Sometimes Vicky would steal my phone when we were partying and drinking with the Cobras, simply to save me from myself. Once I was drunk enough to write _oh man where ru I need ur gorges bod I lovv you so much willm becket_ and accidentally send it to her number.  
  
The wonderful thing is, I could write him things like that now and nobody would need to hide my phone from me anymore, because it would be okay to say it. I enjoy being pathetic to a certain degree and when it comes to William, I don't have to hold back anymore.  
  
And if it is not the best feeling in the whole world, I'm not sure what is.

******** ** **

****_**(past)**_

 ************_The last time Gabe sees William in Chicago is on a Tuesday evening, at Lucky's Irish Bar. Gabe is only there because Pete called him and said he should be there. He sees William by the bar, wearing a suit jacket and looking extremely tired, talking to Patrick. Patrick gesticulates wildly and his voice is risen, while William looks like he just can't handle this anymore.  
_  
_Suddenly Patrick stands up, shakes Bill's hand, gives him a short hug and leaves. He passes Gabe by the door.  
_  
_"Hi Gabe. Sorry, gotta run."  
_  
_"Yeah, Patrick, it's okay."  
_  
_Nothing is okay. TAI are breaking up, William and Butcher had a major fight and it hurts, everything hurts just like it hurt the other night, when Bill called him and said_ I'm moving to Los Angeles _, and Gabe was speechless, so Bill just hung up.  
_  
_Gabe catches William's stare and approaches slowly. Will's eyes are brimmed red.  
_  
_"What the hell is going on, Beckett?"  
_  
_There's some strange, new coldness in Bill's eyes while he picks up his glass and finishes his beer.  
_  
_"Nothing. I'm leaving tomorrow."  
_  
_"Why are you... Why are you doing this?"  
_  
_"There's nothing for me here anymore, right?"  
_  
_Gabe wants to say_ No, you're wrong, there's everything for you here _, but it hurts so much and he's only a coward, pretending to be this ridiculously self-confident singer.  
_  
_Will looks him in the eyes again. It's a challenge.  
_  
Come on, Gabe. Just ask him to stay. It will work out somehow.  
  
_But what if Bill will only laugh in Gabe's face? What if Gabe got it all totally wrong?  
_  
_"I'm gonna head out." Will drops ten bucks on a counter and jumps from his chair. "Bye, Gabanti."  
_  
_Will hugs him like he always used to do, fitting in perfectly, resting his head on Gabe's shoulder, and Gabe's head starts spinning from the scent of Will's hair.  
_  
_"I'll see you around, right?" he manages to stutter out.  
_  
_"Yeah, I guess." William Beckett sends him this last smile, filled to the brim with melancholy and disappointment, and leaves the bar.  
_  
_Late at night, Gabe finds himself not asleep in Cobra's Chicago place, staring at the bright screen of his phone. He types a text message._

Goddamnit will goddamn you I think I'm in love with you and there is no cure in the world

 _His finger hovers over the Send button. He thinks about William's eyes at the bar, about the way he left without a proper goodbye and something is his chest hurts so much he has trouble breathing.  
_  
_So Gabe erases the message and texts Brendon Urie instead._

G: How long does it take to get over someone?

_William never comes back from LA._

******** ** **

**********(present)** ** ** ** **

Bill decides to reply to my last text at 2 AM. Not that I mind, though.

_W: Remember how I bought myself a ticket to NY? I never returned it. So I'll be with you in 3 days. Love ya!_

**Author's Note:**

> Forever yours at samrull.tumblr.com


End file.
